Saturday, November 24, 2012

Better Sorry than Safe

Michelle and Michael just arrived back on old Manasota after a month of travel and warfare in the Middle East. 

In addition to skirting the Turkish border near Syria, we reached Israel almost the very hour the war there began.  Although we saw plenty of U.S. tanks moving south toward Gaza . . . uh, I mean Israeli tanks . . .  no rockets landed anywhere near us in Haifa or while we bobbed like corks on the super salty and ominous-sounding Dead Sea.  Also, the day the rioting resumed in high feather and great galore in Egypt (above), well, that was the day we infidels got the hell out of Cairo and caught a slow tub to Rome.   

Curiously, the only place we stayed in the region not at war was Cyprus (the island nation is, however, divided down the middle between Turkey and Greece with both thirsting for the other’s blood). 

At some point I’ll post some pix and make some edifying comments on the trip over on my face book account.

“Pet’s Owner Bewildered by Situation”—That’s the first local headline to greet us upon our return to this slim sandbar the other day, referring to yet another dog attack.  Well, if the hound’s owner was “bewildered,” fortunately the intended victim of the dog’s altruism was not confused in the least.

Some spry senior senor was out on his morning walk this week when two mischief-minded mutts came barreling toward him from an unfenced yard.  Now, the dogs were neither pits nor rotts but since they were big ‘uns (boxers, in fact) with evil intent  flashing from their foam-flecked fangs I see no distinction necessary.  Thus, when the troublesome twosome came at the ancient humanoid the old gent did what any of us with sense enough to pack a pistol might do in a similar situation.  Whipping out his cop-in-a-pocket, the old dude dropped one of the hounds with a nifty shot to the brain, this when the beast was within a few feet of him.  Before Wyatt could deal out some well-deserved death to the other dog, the canine promptly broke off the attack and turned tail.

The dopey dog owner was terribly distraught, of course. 

“If it was a pit bull, I could understand,” he said.  “Boxers are friendly and good with children. . . . He was my best friend”  Blah, blah, blah.  Sorry Charlie.  If you loved your dead dog so damned much and if he was so great with the kids then you might have put up a fence that would have protected these angelic animals from a very unforgiving world out there.   Also, a pity that the attackee—unlike yourself--did not appreciate just what wonderful pets these two were when they came galloping full tilt toward him, else he might have quietly pocketed his pistol and allowed these wonderful creatures to jump up and shower him with licks of love.

Time will tell if this bereaved gent is truly sincere or if he fails to fence in his last surviving “best friend.”  

PS--Today on my bike ride, I had a pit bull lunge at me from his master's leash as I pedaled through Pitville.  

Send in the Clown--That fun-loving chap, the irrepressible William F. Doyle III, the same Bill 3 we have all come to know, love and enjoy over the past year or more here in old Charlotte is back in the news.  Readers might recall that Bill almost single-handedly keeps our local gin joints in the black by his thus-far successful quest to never draw a sober breath in this lifetime or the next.  Bloggees might also recall that high spirited Bill is waging his own personal campaign against over population in Florida by running over and killing virtually everyone he encounters while driving in his normal state, i.e., drunk and without a license. 

Anywho, Bill was let out of prison recently after his most recent vehicular homicide rap and he, of course, promptly broke his probation by doing something naughty and  light-hearted.  Although the newspaper does not mention just what Doyle did to get his probation revoked (another DUI or two?  Another involuntary manslaughter?  Crashing blind drunk through a grade school?), the question beggars the asking: Who in hell was the judicial genius who let Bill out so quickly in the first place?  Any one who doubts our legal system is totally screwed up need only check out the drunken criminal career of Bill Doyle or look around at all the monkey-spankers and kiddy fiddlers running loose on Florida beaches.  Folks, we are pretty much on our own!

Signs of the Times