Thursday, January 05, 2012

Ugly Presidents

After viewing the flashing ivories and fancy doos of the top two winners in Iowa the other night, it occurs to me that America’s spiral downward began when women got the vote.

Prior to women’s suffrage, men folk had selected their leaders and they were not swayed by toothy smiles, over-eager handshakes or straight-faced lies. As a result, the nation not only survived and prospered, but flourished. When women got the vote, the dynamics changed, the synergy was altered, the plummet began. When woman got the vote a new presidential sub-species made his appearance. This gentleman was not judged on his intelligence or ability to lead but solely on sex appeal. Women didn’t give a flying fig about such frothy concerns as economics, leadership or international relations; they cared instead about a man’s hair, his smile, his eyes, his voice, the cut of his clothes, the shape of his butt.

It is no coincidence that the first two presidents elected after women got the vote—Warren G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge—are to this day still two of the most handsome men to ever enter the White House. After that came other good-looking men like John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. Google these pretty boys, then google John Adams (above), James Buchanan and Abe Lincoln and you will see what I mean.

Now, just because a man may be good-looking does not necessarily preclude him from high office nor does it mean he is either stupid or an incompetent boob. It does suggest, however, that since most handsome fellows spend half their lives primping and admiring the reflection in their mirror, that their actual education, experience and ability may be considerably less than a normal man.  Fact is--with the exclusion of Ron Paul and the inclusion of the late and not-so-great Michelle Bachmann--if I was walking on a street and saw any of these candidates approaching me with those ear-to-ear smiles and an extended hand, my first thought would be: "Better watch my wallet!"

Knowing full well that their looks will get them absolutely no where in the world, common-, ugly- or beastly-looking men realize that only study and hard work will get them where they want to get in life. Next chance, check out the current crop of presidential beauty contestants. Not an ugly mug among ‘em. Women will have a rapture ogling such cute eye-candy but we men know we are skrewed for another four years.


Now that I am back from an extended absence, I hope to blog with increasing frequency. I already have some ideas bubbling for tomorrow or the next day and so, to you my loyal blogologists—and to you disloyal ones as well--I am as happy to be back as I hope you are happy to have me back. And no, Rick, Tira, Trish, Ann, Baily, Mr. Big, Ralph, and the rest of you—despite some scares and “mild” unpleasantnesses, I did not fall overboard or die of food poisoning; nor was I kidnapped. Still alive, still happy as heck to be harassing my wife (not widow) Michelle and our Boston, Disney, and still full of P & V.  Thanks for thinking of me!


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