Monday, November 07, 2011

Bahama Blood Lust

Just back from the Bahamas. Beaches great, weather perfect, people mellow. Ho-Hum. ZZZZZZZ. What’s new? Actually, this cruise was all about 1) Michelle and 2) Halloween. Since she won the costume contest last year in Costa Rica--and had a groove doing it--her sights have been set on the Bahamas for the past twelve months.

Unlike last Halloween, where there were maybe twenty contestants with questionable costumes, this year’s contest had over a hundred entrants, a panel of judges and some outstanding outfits. There were seven categories: “Scariest” (won by a couple from Miami dressed as zombies), “Funniest” (a little black guy in prison stripes), “Most Original” (I forget who won that), etc., etc. We won “Best Couple.” In fact, after I bribed the judges with little skeletons before the vote, only ourselves and another winner won a bottle of some really decent, very dry champagne. All seven winners received some pretty poor fountain pens. Okay. Then the party, some really sweaty dancing in costumes to non-stop music, then to bed and forget it, right? Not.

Very early the next day as we walked around the ship we discovered that people were staring and pointing at us. Then more and more some would shyly come up and say, “Aren’t you the Dracula couple?” At first I just assumed these people had been at the party. But, if anything, over the next several days this stuff intensified until we could not even go out without every other person waving, pointing or approaching us. We finally discovered what the deal was—the ship had taped the Halloween contest and they were playing it on TV several times a day.

Eventually, at some point, everyone, including the two thousand passengers and one thousand crew members, saw sexy Michelle baring her fangs and the bald Dracula staring hungrily into the camera. Also eventually, when someone would come up to me in the halls, by the pool, on decks, or in the dining hall, and ask “Excuse me, arn’t you the Dracula on TV?” I would just bare my teeth and go for their jugular. One of the crew just called me, “The Legend of the Ship. We will never forget you!”

Ah fame, you fleeting flame, you!