Monomania

The editor of our local dead tree media is euphoric today.  Florida now allows Canadian snow birds to drive here in the state without a special driver’s license, as per the past.  Okay.  Fine. Good. Great.  Spectacular.  I am for it.  Sounds super to me.  You got a problem with that?  

We have a ton of fine folks down here every year from north of the border living decently, quietly, honestly, legally, and lawfully and they might as well have the privilege to confuse the accelerator for the brake as does any resident American geezer, I ‘spect.  

“The last thing we needed was to hassle them,” explains the editor, no doubt with all the million$ in Canadian bacon these people drop in the bucket in mind.

Again, I agree.  Now, I do wonder if our editor would also like to grant these people the right to protect themselves here in darkest Florida?  I wonder if our editor would be willing to grant these people conceal/carry permits?  Disarmed Canadians make nifty targets in this crime-crazed state.  Two Canadians, an elderly couple, were recently robbed in their condo over on the wrong side of the state.  Before the thieves left, they raided the fridge—a bit of cheese, a little wine, maybe some ham--then smiled and coolly blew the couple's brains out all over the room.

How about it, Mr. Editor?  I know you’ve had a ton of anti-gun propaganda in your sniveling fishwrap lately.  But hey, you yourself have now gone on record as saying that we should not “hassle” our guests from Canada.  Okay.  Fine. Great.  Does your definition of not hassling Canadians also include not killing them?  How say ye, Mr. Editor?  Are you on the side of gun-control and death?  Or are you on the side of self-defense and life?  Simple question deserves simple answer.  Yea, or Nay?

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Double Jeopardy—Smoking is bad for you anywhere, or so they say, but up in Bradenton last night a “coffin nail” nearly proved the last nail in the coffin for one young fool.   

Stepping outside his home at 3 AM to suck some smoke, the 23-year-old chap was slugged, then kicked and beaten unconscious.  He was then robbed.  When he came to the young man staggered to his car and drove himself to the local hospital for treatment.

But really, ain’t it just tuff enuf shelling out all that money for cigs, and ain’t it already horrible enough to see all those nasty anti-smoking ads with near-dead humans who have holes in their throats and whose ratty, raspy voices sound like sounds straight out of a chamber of horrors, ain’ that already plenty bad enough without stepping out your own digs for a nice, quiet puff only to be beaten half to death?  Maybe the hospital stay will cure the victim of his unhealthy habit and he will turn a new leaf . . . or maybe not.

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Heads You Lose--A 19-year-old in New York City died in a gruesome freak accident yesterday when he was hit in the head by the remote-control helicopter he was operating. 

Police say Roman Pirozek died almost instantly when he was hit by the machine's 2-foot-long blades, which whacked through his neck then removed the top of his skull.  All this occurred in front of a horrified crowd of kids and adults at a Brooklyn park.

In effect, playing around with these things sounds very much like messing around with flying lawn mowers.

Anyone remember the actor, Vic Morrow?  Blackboard Jungle?  Combat?  While shooting a movie in California back in 1982, the pyrotechnics in a hovering helicopter exploded prematurely and the aptly-named chopper came down.  The blades immediately chopped off Morrow’s head, as well as that of a child he was carrying in the scene. 

Wow!  In this age, cannot we invent a halfway-safe whirly-bird?  Cannot we design ones that use jet engines rather than these swinging blades that move so fast as to be almost invisible yet cut your head off as neat as a sword through a cabbage?