Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Kiss Your Kismet Goodbye

T’would seem your blogger was not quite as injured as earlier believed last week.   While down in the Caymans last week with our buds, Adolf and Eva, Michelle and I discovered that my recent bike accident on land was a mere trifle compared to what might have been at sea soon after.  

We had spent a perfect day with our hosts on their 40’ catamaran, swimming, sipping, laughing, swimming, sipping, laughing, and so on.  Near sunset, Adolf pointed to a nice sized dorsal fin maybe twenty feet off our port (I’ve been at sea so much in the last few years that I even refer to my left while driving the car as my “port”).  It was the first we had seen that day and the mere fact that it was a ‘reef shark’ and not a Great White did nothing to diminish our curiosity.  Well, accident prone as I seem to be lately, my foot hooked a rope on the deck as I tried to get a better view and before I knew it I, me, myself and I was swimming with the fishes.   Adolf immediately trimmed the sail, that I might catch up.  No need.  Not a problem.  Anyone ever see the old Tarzan movies in which the film is speeded up and Johnny Weissmuller  appears to be swimming as fast a motor boat can go?  Well, that was me.  In fact, the fear of not knowing what was behind me made me swim all the faster and I suppose there was not a reef shark born that could have caught this human torpedo.  Michelle was frightened as first, then laughed her guts out later.  Nice.  Wonderful mate I chose.  As for myself, I, of course, did not see the “humor” in it in the least until we made it safely to dock that night. 

Cracked ribs?  Crushed shoulder blade?  Sprained wrists?  Strained knees?  Ha!  Just minor inconveniences when it is sundown in the Caribbean and a hungry shark is closing in.

The only other time I was so scared was when my little boy, Clipper, and I was down near Mobile, Alabama. Clip was about four at the time. He was big for his age but I still managed to lug him around in a child's seat attached behind mine. He loved Dad. He trusted Dad. At that age, he would have walked over a cliff if that was where Dad walked. We had never even come close to an accident prior to this.

On the evening in question, we had just biked down to a bayou and pedaled slowly onto a narrow wooden dock. No one was around. There was not a trace of wind. The water was muddy and still. A sign above us warned: "No Swimming or Wading.  Alligators!" To see a gator, of course, was the reason we had come down to the bayou in the first place. After five or ten minutes, I realized that we were not going to catch a glimpse of any this day and so I tried to turn the bike around to leave the dock. Somehow, my left foot got tangled on the pedal and I lost my balance. With Clip's added weight, the bike pitched sharply toward the water and flung the boy head first into the bayou. He came up like a flash.

Fortunately, the water wasn't deep. After I plucked Clip from the murky mess and placed him on the dock, he stood there for a moment, dripping wet and far too startled and wide-eyed to cry. When what had happened finally connected to his brain, however, the kid at last let loose with the best of 'em. Although I've taken a few flips and tumbles, this is by far the worst accident I've ever had on a bike.


Actual, Factual Church Bloopers, or, "Why Editing Counts!"

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

Don’t let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.