Here, deep down, here deep down dog deep in the drudge of summer, my idle
mind wanders; wanders away to Greenland (above) and the pure, cold air that has
become but a cruel memory now.
Murder, what I would not give this moment to escape our Florida furnace
for a few; to just sail away back up yonder to Nanortalik, Greenland, dodging
the icebergs and whales just to walk around that charming little Indian village,
“where the dead outnumber the living and the sleddin’ is always tuff.” Alas, I am doomed to roast here on this
torrid sand spit for at least another month.
Alas, July . . . Alas, August . . . (gasps, collapses, dies).
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Cops busted some local losers in Englewood the other night, three to be
exact. All were forty-something, all
were pill pimps and all, of course, were pill poppers. Hardly had this motley menagerie been led
away when cops returned to the same apartment an hour later and found three
more meth monkeys inside burglarizing the place. These characters, all twenty- or
thirty-something, infested an adjoining apartment and the moment police cleaned
out one den of thieves, another den of thieves moved in.
Unlike other regions of America, police work down here among the
drug-crazed savages is a laid-back snap.
No need to waste time, gas or tax-payer dollars hunting these criminal
masterminds; just grab a mag, buy a box of doughnuts, pull up a chair, and
these idiots will come to you. I’m
pretty sure that if the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office opened up an annex at
the Englewood apartment complex above, or at our local “Mobile Garden”, or at any
county Wal-mart, they could save a bunch more money by arresting ten or twenty swagmen
and swagwomen every day ad infinitum without once getting into the
cruiser.
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Seldom does a day slip by without a story of some local kiddie fiddler
fiddling local kiddies or some perv trying to perv underagers over the
internet. Usually, rather than nickel and
dime bored readers, our local dead tree media waits until there is a sweep of
thirty or more steaming sex wretches caught, then they wheel out spokespersons
and trumpet the story. But absolutely no
day passes, I repeat, no day never passes, unless there are five or six stories
of sordid sex crimes here locally.
Whether it is some drunken douche-bag beating and raping an ex-wife,
ex-girlfriend or any number of ex-somethings, or whether it’s some local perv
jerkin’ his gherkin on our beaches in front of females, enough sex crimes are
committed within rock-throwing range to keep our fish wrap full and our local Lust
Control units busier, as Michelle might say, busier than one-armed paper
hangers.
Maybe demographics have something to do with it. Since there are about, oh, I would guess
maybe two hundred thousand people living here in Charlotte County, and since,
oh, I would guess maybe about a hundred thousand of ‘em are registered sex
offenders, could be that’s part of the problem--half of Charlotte County are
pervers and the other half are pervees. Whatever.
. . .
With so much crime and sex going on down here among the stump-grubbers
and homeless head-hunters, I guess it stands to reason that there would be some
crossover, as per the other night when a Punta Gorda “adult” store was robbed
at gun point. No mention if the perp was
after cold cash or hot sex but from the description he obviously was a regular
customer who didn’t want to be fingered.
“The suspect is
described as a white male, about 6' 1" inches tall with a small, oval-shaped
head,” read the report. “He was wearing
a black, hooded windbreaker, dark sunglasses, motorcycle gloves and a black and
white bandana. His head was very
small. About the size of a cocoanut”
Now, forget the fact
that it has been in the mid-nineties all week and this pin head idiot is
dressed for a day in Nanortalik, but with every inch of him covered like an
Egyptian mummy, how the devil could anyone tell this geek was white, much less
that he had a “small, oval-shaped head.
. . . about the size of a cocoanut”?
Maybe he spoke and gave himself away as a Caucasian, but I have seen the
surveillance image and he was so covered up that I could not tell if he was
even a human, much less a white human with an egg-shaped cocoanut for a head or a white human with a
cocoanut-shaped egg for a head.
