Thursday, May 09, 2013

Full-Time Mom

Last time out I mentioned something about moms in the news; rather, I decried those women with children who are nine parts vagina and one part mother.    

The two women I noted were moms in name only; moms only by the accident of birth; two “mothers” made mothers merely by the fluke of a lucky sperm shot on an unlucky egg.  No, being a mom implies more than spreading your legs and squeezing out a kid every year and then wailing and sobbing in front of the cameras when that kid whose name you barely remember is killed in a drug deal gone wrong and you standing there with faux tears blaming society for his ratty life and his violent death.  Being a mother is about love and sacrifice in good times and bad; it’s about being something greater than yourself and transcending your own selfish wants and needs; it’s about giving it up to save what you made; in a word, it’s about an instinctual impulse as old as time to defend your offspring to the death, if necessary.  Clearly, the two mentioned in the previous blog were just oxygen thieves and space wasters, makin’ babies and makin’ more problems for themselves and for the world.  

Enter Brandi Bookamer of Daytona, Florida.  Brandi, 27, did what a real mom does.  She did it instinctively cause that’s what moms do.  She gave it up.  Brandi was prepared to give that last full measure to protect her chick.

Walking with her six-year-old daughter on a rural road near Daytona at dusk last Sunday, Brandi was horrified when she saw not one, not two, not three, not even four, but five pit bulls running her way!  Five loose pit bulls--looking for something to maul, maim, and murder--a mom and her daughter walking alone.  Perfect.  By the intensity of their stares and the speed in their steps, it was clear to Brandi that the creatures were going to attack.  Brandi didn’t even think.

“Run!” she screamed to her daughter, “Run home. . . . Run!  Run!”

The frightened child did as her mom said and ran as hard as she could toward home.

Meanwhile, as she saw her daughter fleeing, the mother turned about to face the blood-thirsty beasts and draw the entire attack upon herself . . . and herself alone.  What happened next must have been a terrible sight to see.  Who would not have wished to be there to help her, with a loaded pistol, a machete or a simple club?  

Later, when the EMT arrived, they found that Brandi was "barely moving."  The woman was drenched in blood and completely shredded.  The dogs had left her for dead.  Incredibly, although she was covered with dog bites and gashes, none of the wounds was fatal.  The para-medics were stunned that Brandi survived such a vicious mauling with her life. That was the good news.  None of that good news, however, was due in any way to the low-life loser who allowed this herd of four-legged food-blenders to pack up and swim free as sharks in the neighborhood.  But I am angry, and I digress. . . .

Brandi Bookamer proved beyond all doubt that she was a five-star mother; not just in fun times, but in bad times.  In that true moment of terror and fear when a mom needs to step up, Brandi did.  Who of us would not be proud to say, “That’s my mom!  She laid her life on the line for me!  My mom is the greatest mom in the world and I will always love her!”


Greedy Geezers—Some 80-year-old woman up in Ocala got scammed out of $200K this week.  Yes, of course, she got that phone call.  Yes, of course, she won those millions.  Yes, of course, all she had to do to collect was pay some trivial  “earnings tax.”  Yes, of course, half of that tax--$100K—had to be sent to Honduras and yes, of course, the other half had to be sent to Jamaica.  And yes, of course, the greedy old fool sent it all.

“I’ve sent money through the bank and the post office,” said the addled idiot as she sat waiting for the check to arrive. “I’ve never received one red cent.”

All this child can say is: "Good.  It serves the woman right.  Anyone that damned greedy deserves to be fleeced.  I hope she lost every red cent."  On the down side, the fact that this geezer gave up so much dough insures that these scum-sucking scammers will redouble their efforts to shake down others.


Crazy Old Coot—Up near Tampa, a 90-year-old gentleman was shopping at a local grocery store when he fell and broke his hip and wrist.  Just fell and broke his hip and wrist.  Employees helped this fellow up and out to his car where they simply watched as he drove away.  Letting this injured NINETY-YEAR-OLD simply drive away in a two-ton vehicle?  Is that not akin to a bartender helping a drunken gorilla get in an eighteen-wheeler and drive away down a busy highway?

Anyway, old Jedidiah somehow made it back to his garage, but lo! With that broken wrist he found that he could not open his door to get out; nor, with his broken hip, could he move and use the other hand.  And so, for the next three days--THREE DAYS--the injured man simply sat in that car, waiting for help.  Although he had nothing to drink in the ferocious heat he did finish up the groceries he’d purchased-- ice cream, fig bars, a pound cake.  

“Jeez, it’s been three days,” he thought to himself.  “I hope I don’t die in this car.”

Alright, let’s cut to the chase . . . long story short . . . here’s the skinny . . . this is it in a nutshell . . . the bottom line.  Someone walking by saw a hand waving feebly from the car window and investigated.  End of story.  But really?  Is there not someone close to this man who could pitch in once a week and drive him to the store?  Will it take him dying of hunger and thirst, then bloating up triple and exploding in gas and guts all over his own garage or basement, or worse, will it take him running over and squashing some kids or cyclists, to get the attention of the Florida DMV?   The man proved he cannot walk and shop safely, much less drive and live safely.  At what point, America?  We are broke; nay, we are worse than broke; we are in debt,  hopelessly, impossibly, eternally in debt.  Our old people are quickly becoming hot button items, and there are so many of them.  We need sudden solutions.  Yet, what?  Yet, how?  Yet, who?