Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Booz in the Newz

First the good newz: The Geez have gone.  Now the bad newz:  The Geez have gone.  In the bloggin’ biz, no Geez meanz no newz and no newz meanz bad blogz.  No fossilz found floating in canalz, no senile seniorz backing over senile seniorz in mall parking lotz, no deranged “letterz to the editorz” . . . no nuttin.’  In a word, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Over on the wrong side of the state, Jabari Kemp was blazing down I-95 Saturday night.  Perhaps the young man mistook the “I-95” sign for the speed limit sign since that is how fast he was smokin’.  Oooops. . . .Kemp lost control of his Mercedes on an exit ramp and rocketed right into another car carrying five kids, ages 14-22.  Jabari, of course—probably sky high on any number of things--walked away from the wreck.  It took medics, working for hours, working on their hands and knees, working with tweezers, to pick up the pieces of the other five.  Four were shredded like coleslaw when they were ejected through windows.

“Only one passenger was wearing a seat belt,” wrote the moron reporter.  Hey, meatball!  I repeat: Hey, meatball!  All were killed.  Get it?  All were killed.  Did that seat belt really matter a pinch of bat shit to the headless person still strapped in it? 

Meanwhile, way up I-95 a few states away, Raynaldo Figueroa-Sanabria Gomez-Perez Rodriguez-Moralez Santa-Maria Tamale-Tequila Frito-Bandito Lopez Jr. was finally caught by cops in North Carolina for killing two peeps back down here among the swamp savages and stump-grubbers.  Far from making a break for what once was called the Mexican border (now known as the Golden Gateway to US Citizenship and Welfare For Life), as was the custom a few years back when an illegal committed a crime, now people like Raynaldo Figueroa-Sanabria, etc. etc., etc., just head north to lam since there are so many millions of illegals on the East Coast that finding friends or family willing to hide them is pretty plenty easy.  Ho-hum. . . .

But anyway, back down here again but up at Tampa, twenty-nine-year-old school bus driver, Daiquiri Jermaine Crawford, saw a twelve-year-old boy walking home near a high school last week.  Since the weasel in Dacquiri’s pants was bi-sexual, tri-sexual, omni-sexual, and every other sexual you can name, and since said weasel did not discriminate as to age, sex, race, or mental condition, and since said weasel was always looking for a hole to stick its head in, so to speak, Crawford stopped his bus, got out, grabbed the kid, threw him on the ground, then let the weasel do the rest. 

The victim went home, told his mom, who thereupon called the cops.  No mention what the judge did; perhaps Daiquiri is now in jail looking at a Hard 20; or perhaps Daiquiri is out already celebrating with two or ten of his namesakes; or maybe he is even back behind the wheel of his old job trolling for kids. In this Third World sinkhole, why do I think that the latter possibilities are much more likely than the former? [sigh]

Also down here again but still up in Tampa--St Pete, actually--one Rashida Williams of the US Air Force (aka “hero,” “warrior,” “fighting for our freedoms,” etc.) went beyond the call of duty the other night when she stabbed to death her cheating rat of a boy friend.  Freedom don't mean freedom to fuck around, I guess.