Saturday, July 28, 2012


I’m not a real big fan of “lost marbles” as a defense in murder cases, but it would seem as if the attorney for Colorado massacre man, James Bush Obama Holmes (aka Woody Woodpecker), may be onto something if he decides to work that angle.  When the attorney’s client (above) stares that mother of all stares and remarks that he “does not know why he is in jail,” I tend to believe him.  Meanwhile, down here among the child-eating cannibals and swamp savages. . . . 

Damn, Man!  Jeez!--Can we effin’ ‘Mericans get any more bloodier, any more stupider, and more crazier?  Some murderous moran--yes, I know it’s spelled wrong but today’s just a murderous moran sorta day--across Charlotte Harbor from us decided he’d had enough and he weren’t agonna take it no mo.  Ken Baily Roop (uh, oh . . . there’s one of those murderous middle names again) decided that he was the law west of Fort Myers and today this pistol-packin’ paranoid was down as down can be on trespassers (yesterday it was pelicans pooping on his boat).  Seems when Ken returned home from the gun range, he spotted a strange truck in his driveway and a strange man nearby walking strangely.  When the strange stranger replied that he was selling steaks and lobsters door-to-door, Ken thought to himself, “Yeah right . . . likely story . . . you’re going down, bucko!”  Ken pulled out his piece and shot the dude point blank in the belly.  Seeing that the trespassing liar was still alive, our Dirty Harry ushered the victim right outta this world with a bullet to the brain, “for effect.”

When a neighbor rushed over to see what all the hub-bub was about, he was startled to hear Roop yelling, “I’ll kill everybody and shoot everybody.”  The former fireman described Roop as dirty and disheveled and mad as a rabid rottweiler. “When he came out of the garage, he looked totally deranged to me,” the neighbor remarked. “He looked like he was off the deep end.”

Asked by the arresting cop why he killed the man, Roop said that he had posted his property against trespassing, and added, “I am not going to give him the chance to do something to me. I was in fear.” 

Guess Ken was “in fear” of being brained by a frozen steak for, fact is, implausible as it may have sounded, the deceased was indeed trying to hustle lobsters and steaks door-to-door.  Suppose I will file this minor affair under “Another Way a Suck Economy Can Kill You Stiff” since my “America Gone Stark Raving Mad” file is full.


Another eBook On the Way