Lock the door. Check! Saddle the bike. Check! Enter the road. Check! Another 20-mile ride ahead. Check! Fire truck stopping at our house. Check! . . . . . . WHOA! Say what?
A fire truck pulled into our place at the same time I pulled out from our place this morning on my daily bike ride. Traffic stopped. I stopped. I returned. Man jumps down. Man sez: “Dammit . . . a mix-up on addresses.” Odd. I knew that our place was not on fire; after all, had I not just locked the door and left? Still, something like that will rattle your cage on a Wednesday morning. Otherwise, except for clipping a light pole and shattering my mirror, bike ride uneventful.
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Gulf Coast Lust Control—Seems that about this time last year (I’m too lazy to look) I reported on some perverts engaged in various auto-erotic sex acts up at Venice Beach (about ten miles north of us). These gentlemen, pretty much in plain sight of any and all, the long and the short and the tall, were exposing themselves (which in common parlance usually means, “jacking off in public”).
Well, it would seem as if some of these same self-sex whack monkeys are back.
A UC (undercover cop) was approached yesterday at different times by two of these lusty fellows on the park trails near the beach. Both of these individuals, including one Charles Coppens, 68, of Englewood, had their whangs hanging out advertising their availability.
After he pinned their arms behind them and applied the jailhouse jewelry to their wrists, it seemed pretty clear that the cop was not amused by whatever perversion these cretins were selling . . . but maybe the judge was. Both wretches were charged with misdemeanors, both wretches posted a whole $500 bond each, and both wretches, with all of their human dignity in tact, are no doubt at another of our local beaches right now choking their chickens in front of the old, the young, and the disgusted.
Some day, some where, I will be reporting on some bucko who was accosted by one of these human hairballs and who was more than just “a little disgusted.” He will be so outraged, in fact, that he will indeed take it upon himself right then and there to choke something--and it won't be a "chicken." Thus will at least one or more of nature’s mistakes be removed from the gene pool.
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Give That Poor Boy a Home—Michael Joseph Ferris (uh-oh, there’s that middle name again) was arrested here in Charlotte County last November for having sex with a 12-year-old-girl at one of our numerous hobo jungles. Unlike the judge above, the judge here below threw the book at the twenty-two-year-old homeless man and when the culprit could not scrounge up the $100,000 bond, His Honor found him three hots and a cot at the county jail where he still remains.
Also discovered at Homeless Acres where the incident with the child occurred was Ferris’ cell phone. After gaining a warrant to search the contents, cops found the phone full of kiddie porn.
And so, t’would seem, for a while at least, being homeless and hungry will NOT be among the many concerns facing Mikey Joe; as a known pedophile in prison, however, staying alive will be.
Nature at work.
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Toys From the Past
