Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday the 14th

One more way the economy can kill you. . . .

Just out of high school? Can’t afford college or vo-tech? Wouldn’t go even if you could? No jobs to be had? Why not join “The Few, the Proud, the Marines”? Or why not be a “Force For Good Around the World” and join the Navy as we attack, invade and occupy the majority of the globe? Well, as a young person learns quickly, there really is no free lunch in this world. There is a price to be paid for everything. With the U.S. Government starting more wars than we can count, any young man who enlists stands a good chance of getting himself killed, at worst, or coming back to Sally Hussenfluff a legless, armless freak, at best. Unless one is some sort of super patriotic macho meatball, at some point it does occur to most kids who enlist that if not for an awful, no-options economy they would not be risking their lives and limbs just to stay fed.

That’s one way to die, but a suck economy has a thousand other ways to kill you. Job loss and domestic stress leads to drinking and drugs which lead to poor habits and poor health which leads to cancer and heart attacks which lead to a wooden box and an early grave. Inability to make an honest living also leads to the ability to make a dishonest living.

Up in Michelle’s Olde Quaker State the other day, locals were surprised one morning to wake up and find their bridge was missing. That’s right, a 50’ bridge that had been there one day just disappeared overnight. No wash out this, either. During the night, thieves had used blow torches to dismember the steel span and truck it away. Sold as scrap metal, officials estimated that the bridge would bring a cool $100K. Low risk, high yield--not too shabby for one night’s work. We have all heard of the raging market for copper wiring and tubing, but a steel bridge?

And so, let’s just assume you are flying down a familiar road some night doing 60 or 70 and uh-oh, that bridge you had been counting on seems to be missing. By that point, it’s far too late to save your bacon but in that final split second of life you will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that it was a poor economy that got you in the end. That’s another way a bad economy can kill you.


Coming Soon--This blog receives roughly 30-50 email responses per week, with a record high during one seven-day period of 127. Some are rants and diatribes about one thing or another. Some are just “How-dee-doo’s” and “keep-up-the-good-works.” Some, however, are personal accounts of things this blog touches upon, be it the weather, politics, pit bulls, travel, or crime. More than a few of the notes I receive are hilarious stories concerning “geezers.” Although tales of oldsters confusing the gas for the brake pedals predominate, others write about old Edna trying to bake cakes with unusual ingredients, Chester putting his clothes on backwards, and Mabel just walking to and through the mall as nature intended her to. With permission only, I will soon print a few of these emails on this blog. I think you’ll get a kick.


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