Friday, May 06, 2011

Why Astronauts Wear Helmets

Laying on the beach yesterday at the half-way point of my bike ride, I was pestered by those murderous little brutes, the fire ants.

Even a dip in salt water served only to make them more ravenous than ever for man meat. Today, same scenario, save that I moved closer to the water’s edge under the theory that even these most aggressive of Satan’s spawn could not withstand two tides per day. Apparently they could not, since nary a one sunk his jaws into me. Flies were another matter, however. The dirty pests. Like clockwork, a few minutes after one had been shooed away, back he came again. I suppose, like circling vultures, they come back and back to check and see if one has died yet or not. Also, tho they seem harmless, “Love Bugs” are everywhere, filling the skies and swarming the land. No mystery how these drunken little insects got their names since one never finds one unless they are two, i.e., their plumbing is always connected. Sex Bugs might be a more apt name for them.

Anywho . . . today’s sermon is entitled “Children Having Children.”

My friends, life are tough. No doubt about it.  To cope, we have all developed our own survival techniques. Many folks place all their eggs in God's basket and thereupon accept whatever life dishes out, as per “God’s will be done.” To deaden the pain, maybe even more people have said "Skrew God . . . if there is one," and have turned to some form of narcotic, be it meth, crack, coke, booze, tobacco, coffee, cola, chocolate, food, TV, the computer, or some other mind-killing addiction.

In theory, I have a laissez faire libertarian approach to all forms of drug use--if you want to blow your brains out with a pistol or zorch your mind with acidic chemicals, then go for it; just don’t be bugging me about it and especially, do not harm either myself or the world around me. That's my approach in a perfect world, but in practice? As we all know nothing's perfect about this wobbling blue marble we call home.

Two snippets in our morning paper succinctly size up why, alas, we humans can never legalize drugs. One story comes from Jacksonville in this state and involves a five-year-old girl. This tot heroically grabbed the wheel of the speeding car she was in and bravely steered the runaway safely off the road and to a stop. When cops showed up, they found the child’s father sitting in the driver’s seat, stoned stupid and staring at the ceiling. He later admitted he was blitzed on Xanax and some other crap. A similar story comes from right here in Charlotte County. Cops found a new car in the ditch, still running, tires turning, and a three-year-old child in the back seat fastened in her carrier. The mother was passed out behind the wheel, totally whacked on booze, drugs and whatever. When finally roused, the woman explained that an argument with a family member had tripped her wire and . . . well . . . she just couldn’t help herself, poor dear.

The point is: I have no problem with people who want to blow their brains out on whatever poison they can get their mitts on but I do object when their stupid, selfish behavior impacts others, as it did with the kids above.

Moral: Irresponsible imbeciles in our midst ruin it for all of us.


Ménage à strange